court date

Dear Mars Incorporated,

It has come to my attention (since it's in my freezer) that Snickers Ice Cream mini bars are now available at your local grocery store. Although I'm very thankful for the 90 calorie package, I am not happy with one of your ingredients....nicotine. This unnamed ingredient has left me with no choice but to eat several at at time and naturally caused weight gain. I feel confident that if someone can sue McDonalds for hot coffee then I can sue you for weight gain...since it's really not my fault..um...with..the nicotine and all.

Shame on you for not listing all the ingredinets in your mouthwathering bars! Why else would these harmless bars of caramel, ice cream and the perfect amount of peanuts with a chocolate coating call out to me all hours of the day!? I may also sue my mother for buying this poison and placing it so nonchalantly in my freezer, but that is for another day. I feel certain one of you is to blame for my extra 10 lb. of weight gain & I plan to take legal action soon.

Sincerely,

Lisa

ps. we can settle this out of court with large amounts of snickers ice cream bars as payment.