I have my very own version of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde that many of you have probably seen before. We'll refer to them as Debbie Downer & Polly Positivity. They both live inside me and it seems they come out depending on the situation...and if it is my own personal situation.
Polly rules when there is a crisis or concern that belongs to someone else. The funny thing is I don't even have to try. Positive solutions seem to jump out when it's someone else's problem. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and help that person see it too. The problem is clear and I'm confident in the solution.
On the flip side, Debbie runs my life if the problem, dilemma, or crisis is my very own. I get overwhelmed, anxious for a solution, moody, irritable and depressed. I assume the worse will happen & am convinced there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I become emotionally drained and it affects every part of my life.
Right now Debbie is running the show! I have a million questions going through my mind so fast that it's hard to even make sense of it all. John and I know that there is some sort of change approaching in our lives, but what that is, where it will lead, how and when it will come is all a big.fat.question mark. We have been praying that the Lord will open and close doors as we try to pursue different options that we see in front of us. Polly reminds me to focus on what I know...that the Lord wants what is best of us...all the time, every time. Debbie can't even stop thinking long enough to hear that. Do I trust the lord, Yes! Do I trust that I can undoubtedly hear his voice when it comes down to crunch time, No.
I hope I learn to give Polly a little wiggle room in my own situations. I hope I learn a little more about trust, faith and patience. Most importantly I hope I learn these things before my head explodes! :)
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3 comments:
A little trick I try with my own crisis time/uncertainties is to imagine what life will be like on the other side of where I am now. It forces me to realize that eventually I'll be over there looking back, and none of it will seem as scary then. It started with simple things like tests and papers in college--how great it would feel to have finished well. It has worked for everything since - when will we not be the poorest people on earth? when will we find those jobs that make us feel productive? when will a new baby not seem like an experience south of heaven? when will Dosen get here? why did we think Dosen was such a good idea? ..... you feel me, friend?
Ahhh...Polly and Debbie...two girls I know VERY WELL! :)
Girl, we're in the same boat now! I'll be praying for you!! It's not easy being a grown up!
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