*disclaimer: if you are in a good and happy mood, please just skip this one...I'd rather not take that from you*
Today is one of those days...
one of those days where I'm ready to quit my job and move to Africa, or someplace crazy with no responsibly!
In all seriousness, I feel like I'm drowning...like there has to be more to life than just showing up to work so I can get a paycheck. I'm literally living for the weekends...they have become my silver linings of life that get me from week to week. I think I'm just bored. I miss the creative side of Lisa that barely exists anymore and I truly can't imagine feeling like this forever...I want to love my job since it takes up so much of my life, but I don't really know where to start of what that would look like. Today it just happens that all the emotion is bubbling over.
MAN, I wish we could win the lottery! What I could do with that money!
I feel like I never have enough time or money.
Am I always going to feel like this!? Never really knowing what to do with my life!? I also feel like the lack of confidence in myself holds me back big time. I like the comfort of the familiar. Branching out..looking for another job or tying something you aren't sure you will be good at scares me to death. It scares me enough to not try. pathetic? yes.
so I guess I never have enough time, money or confidence.
Why do we focus on all the awesome, bright & sunny parts of other peoples lives & fail to see what good is going on in our own? You may be saying, "speak for yourself, Lisa" and you may be right. I can really only speak for myself. I can see the potential that other people have so clearly. If I had this or my situation was that then I could achieve all the wonderful dreams rolling around in my head, keeping me up at night. Isn't it funny how even in knowing that life is what you make out of it, with your abilities and your situation, I still seem to find sulking a better pass time than doing anything about it. It's like I've reached a new low.
I'll smack myself in the face for you & shake my head & say, "Lisa Michelle stop having a pity party & be thankful for your job & suck it up & find a creative hobby & shut your yappin!"
I'll say it all right...but I'm not a very good listener.
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5 comments:
Thank you for sharing this. It is good to know that I am not the only one who feels this way from time to time. Be encouraged that we all have these days and thoughts and that we can share in this together.
It is funny for me to hear you say these things because I have caught myself thinking, "I wish I could be like her. So beautiful and put together with a great job that is fun." See you are great and new doors will come.
Lisa,
I hear God calling you to be a mommy! Can't you hear him? ha ha
Praying for you!
Oh friend... if only you could see what all of us see when we look at you!! You're AWESOME!!! I'll try to help pull the creative side out. We can do that kind of stuff together (although we are very different in our "creative" sides- you're MUCH more artsy and cool than I am!)... It will be fun! Are you still gonna look into that volunteer work we talked about yesterday? I also have a new idea I need to share w/ you... Maybe you'll like it too! I'm sorry your day yesterday was so rough :( I hope it's better today. I love you!!!!
Thanks for the encouragement ladies, sorry for the ranting! Tracy you are a funny gal ;)
Yeah! Let me know what you find out. I was convinced I'd go to the aveda school in Minneapolis when we moved to MN, until I realized how far it was from Rochester, which made it impossible. That stuff is so fascinating to me!
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